


I Know Evil People Will Say Things

by EverlivingGhosts



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Kevin is a bit evil, Love, M/M, Violence, big questions today desert bluffs, or is he brainwashed, strexcorp is just the worst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-26
Updated: 2014-03-26
Packaged: 2018-01-17 03:39:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1372564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EverlivingGhosts/pseuds/EverlivingGhosts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the following headcanon:</p><p>"Imagine Cecil being forced to co-host a show with Kevin because of Strexcorp’s demands, and one day Kevin announces a new guest they will be interviewing together. To Cecil’s surprise, the guest turns out to be none other than Carlos, and Kevin spends the entirety of the interview using thinly veiled science innuendos in a flirty tone to an absolutely oblivious Carlos while Cecil fumes in the background, unable to do anything in case Strexcorp takes it out on the scientist."</p><p>In which a new host is introduced to the radio station, and Cecil become very, very unsettled.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am so so SO sorry I am behind on my other fic, but I REALLY wanted to write this one. Based on a head canon I made on my tumblr, Sexybaldwin, I really hope you will enjoy this. There has been some meta on how Kevin is really more innocent than people portray him, and unfortunately although I like that idea for some reason I always make him waaaay too twisted. Oh well. Forgive spelling errors; I haven't had much time to spellcheck. Regardless, please enjoy!
> 
> Edit: Whoops! I forgot- the title is from 'Wicked Gil' by Band of Horses. I don't think Kevin is actually properly evil, but I thought it was a pretty poignant line for this story.

 

A deep, heaving breath. Fists clenching and unclenching beneath a desk, longing to act. A false smile that made his face ache, although it fooled everyone easily enough. Cecil sat in the radio booth, his body rigid with the effort of staying calm and polite, trying desperately to ignore the ridiculous, overprotective feeling that his territory had been invaded as the man smiled blithely in front of him; utterly oblivious and smiling his own, horrifying grin.

 

It had been two weeks since the new management had announced that Cecil would be sharing his well-loved show from now on, two weeks since the last thing he had left had been practically prised from his grasp. There had been absolutely no warning, no prior announcement; Cecil had been given the morning report and had dutifully read it as he knew he must, his voice stuttering as he was unable to conceal his shock over the unexpected news that he was to receive a  new co-host. Less than thirty seconds after this extraordinary announcement, Kevin had practically bounced into his booth, spouting some nonsense about how very pleased he was to join his ‘Night Vale brothers and sisters’ while Cecil looked on, both shocked and hurt at his very unwelcome arrival. 

 

 

In any other circumstance, he may have been excited at the thought of a new co-host, perhaps even grateful, in fact, that he finally had someone he could chat with throughout the day rather than being confined to communication through headsets and mobiles. But, he felt oddly protective over his little show, and the fact that Strexcorp had initiated this invasion without warning or consulting him annoyed him. And, what irritated him worst of all, Kevin even had the nerve to _look_ like him. When Cecil had half raised to greet him, his mouth fell open at the familiar hair, the familiar face, at the man who was unmistakably his mirror image, albeit with a few deliberate changes. And, to make matters worse, his mind itched furiously until he remembered they had met _before._

 

As he recoiled slightly from the violent memory, the man had already taken a hold of his hand and shook it with more enthusiasm than Cecil thought was possible. His eyes, oh, such deeply obsidian eyes, were widened with pure, unbridled glee as he greeted his new co worker, seemingly unaware of his disgust, or at the very least unheeding of it. Cecil had to spend the rest of the show unable to get a word in edgeways as Kevin, for that was apparently his doppelganger’s name, practically gushed about how _glad_ he was to be there, and how he hoped he and Cecil would become close _friends._ Cecil had gritted his teeth in the unconvincing semblance of a smile, and it served to fool Kevin as he returned it with a truly horrifying example of his own. 

 

And so, Cecil had been trying his best to be courteous to Kevin, despite the fact that underlying Strexcorp’s honeyed words about ‘merging partnerships’ and ‘new, bloody horizons’, it felt more like an invasion than anything else. There was _something_ about Kevin that Cecil recoiled from, and it troubled him because the strange and unusually was generally embraced in Night Vale. Perhaps it was his prejudice against Desert Bluffs, which Kevin alluded to constantly when he spoke on the show, dropping mild but poignant hints that his hometown was better than Night Vale. Each time Cecil opened his mouth to retort, he caught the eye of his supervisor, Daniel, stood watching outside the booth, and clamped his mouth shut. Loathe though he was to bow down to Kevin, he knew it was necessary. After Lauren’s ominous words a few weeks ago, he was frightened of what they might do to Carlos.

 

Ah, Carlos. He had been most concerned when Cecil had stepped through the door of their house that evening, obviously expecting him to be as bright as he had appeared on the show earlier on that day. Instead, he was greeted by a decidedly down-trodden Cecil, the strain of the day visible through the dark circles under his eyes, at his slouched, defeated position. Alarm bells ringing in his mind, Carlos had gently taken Cecil’s arm and led him into the hallway, his face etched with concern,

 

“Cecil, honey? Are you alright?”

 

A mumble was all he got in response, and it was so unlike Cecil that Carlos stopped, heedless of his charge lightly bumping into him due to the suddenness of the action. He search his partner’s face carefully, finding only a deep weariness, but pressing on nonetheless,

 

“I listened to your show today. The new guy, uh, Kevin? He seemed…okay.” He paused, waiting for Cecil to speak, but no reply was forthcoming. He ploughed on regardless, “ _Was_ he okay?”

 

Cecil sighed, speaking in a flat, noncommittal tone.

 

“ He was fine.”

 

“Ce-“

 

“Carlos, he was _fine_.” 

 

_They could be watching us,_ Cecil wanted to say, to shout at the surprised face in front of him, but it was far too dangerous to utter such a thing in his current predicament. He could only watch as hurt passed briefly over Carlos’s face at being spoken to so matter-of-factly, but he quickly hid it under a mask of coolness.

 

“Right. Well.” He let go of Cecil’s arm, letting it fall limply to his side as he looked resolutely away from the host. “I have some stuff to do in the kitchen.”

 

As Carlos prepared to walk away towards the door leading to the kitchen, he felt his hand being grasped once more by a larger, warmer one. Turning, he saw Cecil’s face, apologetic and desperate.

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…it’s just…could we talk about something else?” He bit his lip, blinking a few times behind his half-moon glasses, “Please?”

 

And with that, Carlos simply couldn’t find it in himself to feel affronted by his boyfriend’s actions any longer. The dark circles stood out on Cecil’s face with such prominence, his eyes darted nervously around them as if he was on the lookout for some unseen threat; he looked so very drained, and although it seemed he was trying to put up a brave facade, Carlos could tell he was dangerously close to cracking. He squeezed the hand on his arm softly,

 

“Of course, honey. You could chop some vegetables for me, if you’d like?”

 

Cecil’s face brightened a considerable amount at his words, and for good reason; Carlos hardly ever allowed him to help him cook, not because he didn’t enjoy the company, but because when Cecil helped the ingredients seemed to have the odd effect of becoming sentient and trying to escape. It was one thing to try and cook with the limitations of no wheat and a blood stone-initiated stove, but it was quite another to have the food running away from the table with minuscule, blood-curdling screams. He itched to run some tests on this interesting phenomenon, but on their first night together Cecil had insisted, “No science at the dinner table.” to which Carlos had begrudgingly agreed, accepting that one had to make sacrifices sometimes in order to make a relationship work. 

 

 

But for now, he allowed Cecil to help him prepare the meal, resolutely making no comment about the enthusiastically but nonetheless wonkily cut vegetables as he chatted to Cecil about his day. He sometimes still had to resist the urge to pinch himself, to accept the fact that someone actually _enjoyed_ him talking about science. Usually, people nodded their heads dutifully at his impassioned words, but he always saw them staring into space, blank eyed, and his passion would dwindle to a low mutter until it ceased entirely But Cecil stared at him with wide, genuinely interested eyes, rapt with attention and never once seeming bored or inconvenienced. Carlos was more grateful for it than he could express, and they spent the evening content with each other’s company, ignoring the one dark thought that loomed in the back of their minds.

 

As the next few days continued, Cecil had waited for the rest of the town to react to Kevin as he had, with an odd sense of loathing and distrust. However, to his utter surprise, many of the citizens did not seem to mind him; they found his similarity to Cecil to be a source of amusement, and even seemed to overlook the fact that he was from the hated town of Desert Bluffs. Although he knew that the citizens couldn’t really react any other way, what with Stexcorp looming over them with their dead eyed, impeccably suited minions and constant reminders of their presence, Cecil began to feel very, very unsettled. 

 

And, try as he might to prevent it, this sense of discomfort leaked into his every day life, making him surlier and less open than he had previously been. Cecil had started to notice the little things; Interns choosing to chat to Kevin rather than him, drawn by his undeniable sunny attitude, the calls from listeners who directed questions at the new host rather than him. He wasn’t sure if it was just his imagination playing cruel tricks on him, but people had almost started to greet Kevin before him, as if _Cecil_ was the impostor. Slowly, painfully, he began to wonder if Kevin was trying to take over his coveted life,or whether the stress of Strexcorp was simply getting to him.

 

And so, one evening a week or so after Kevin’s invasion of his radio show, Cecil and Carlos lay in bed together, both engaged in reading their respective books silently, but enjoying the other’s company nonetheless. Their legs entangled, Cecil leaning lazily across Carlos’s chest as was custom, both men were deeply engrossed in their texts, the soft, purple pulse of the bedside lamp the only source of light in the darkened room. With an idle flick, Carlos turned the page of his scientific journal and spoke the thought which had been plaguing him a lot lately, breaking the silence.

 

“So I heard Teddy Williams talking about your new co-worker, Kevin, today.”

 

Wearily, Cecil lowered his volume on fabric patterns, his voice somewhat defensive,

 

“Oh? Well, what did he say?”

 

“It was…” Gingerly, Carlos placed his own book beside Cecil, rubbing the bridge of his nose where his glassed pressed upon the skin, “Most interesting.”

 

There was a huff of breath as Cecil gave a sharp, angry inhale.

 

“Hmf. I don’t know what _rumours_ he has been spreading about _perfect_ Ke _-“_

 

_“_ Oh no, it was nothing like that.” He gave a vague wave, frowning with concentration at the memory of his brief conversation with Teddy William’s that day at the grocery store,”No, he was just telling me how very _alike_ you two looked. Almost identical, he said.”

 

Even before he had finished speaking, Carlos was surprised to feel Cecil’s body stiffen on top of him, keeping one alarmed eye focused on his tattoos which had shifted from their previous dormant positions to softly coiling across his skin, as if in slight agitation. He was particularly wary of a large, inky tentacle that seemed to be writhing across his bicep.

 

‘Oh.” Cecil’s voice had a hard edge to it he usually reserved for convicted felons and Steve Carlsberg, ‘ _That.”_

 

_“_ I-I just,” Feeling the mood drop considerably, and consumed with the guilty knowledge that he had been the one to cause it, Carlos stuttered, “I just mean, from a _scientific_ point of view, to have someone who shares the same genetic make up as you but who you haven’t met before is rather _fascinating-“_

 

“That,” Cecil scoffed, “Is _not_ the word I would use.” 

 

“Oh?” There was a patch of colour on Carlos’s cheek as he peered down at Cecil, “What words would you use then?”

 

In response, Cecil gave out a large snort.

 

“Probably ‘disturbing’, ‘unwelcome’, and a few that I would dearly like to say but were banned by the Sheriff’s Secret Police a few days ago as part of Mayor Pamela Winchell’s new vendetta against profanity.”

 

Although Carlos could practically _feel_ Cecil’s anger, he carried on in a steady voice, his cheeks still red,

 

“…I would still like to meet him.” 

 

And with that, Cecil rolled off of him and turned away with a resolute snap, staring at the wall and leaving Carlos feeling bereft of his comfortable weight, and also that he was the worst boyfriend in the universe. He did not mean to upset Cecil, and he felt frustrated that he had once again let his enthusiasm for potential scientific information overshadow his concern for Cecil’s feelings; he hovered to and fro on the bed, wondering how best to comfort the despondent figure before him. Leaning over the back turned against him, he spoke in a small voice,

 

“I’ve upset you, haven’t I?’

 

A few seconds rolled by, and Cecil remained motionless on his side, saying nothing and betraying nothing. Carlos gripped the bedsheet with a nervous hand, pulling at the soft fabric as he wracked his brains for anything that would help to amend the situation, _anything_ that would save him from this hurt silence. Before his frazzled mind could do more than shout that he was a colossal idiot that didn’t deserve the upset man beside him, Cecil spoke with a soft, tired sigh,

 

“ Oh my dear, dear Carlos, you would never upset me. I don’t mean to, I mean, it’s just,” He sighed again, “It feels like…It feels like he’s trying to replace me.”

 

As the last words wobbled from his faltering mouth, he felt a reassuring hand on his hip. Looking up, he saw Carlos leaning over him with a wide, understanding smile.

 

“Hey,” Carlos’s voice was so warm, so gentle, that Cecil felt consumed by its kindness, “No one can replace you, Cecil.”

 

The broadcaster let out a disbelieving huff, but it only served to make Carlos’s smile widen, his eyes crinkling at the sides at the almost petulant action that somehow felt so endearing.

 

“It doesn’t matter that he looks like you. I mean, the world is infinite, and the possibilities for different yous are infinite by default, and…well, that doesn’t matter. You are the best you there is, and I don’t want any other.”

 

Slowly, Cecil began to turn over, peering at Carlos with a regained sparkle in his eye.

 

“Really? Everyone seems to prefer perfect Kevin, even though his voice is far too squeaky and high pitched for _proper_ radio broadcasting, even a child knows that.”

 

“Hey now,”  Carlos laughed at the almost pouting expression on Cecil’s face, “ You’re being far too unfair! I think his voice is quite nice….Cecil?” He spoke the last word in pure alarm as, with a swift movement, Cecil promptly buried his head under a pillow, hiding himself from the scientist. He prodded the almost hidden shoulder, and he could just about hear a voice, albeit muffled, say,

 

“Go away.”

 

When Carlos tried to prod him again, Cecil retreated from his touch and buried himself further underneath the pillow, leaving Carlos staring at his wriggling body in utter confusion. 

 

“Cecil, what have I done wrong?” There was no answer, and it concerned him because it wasn’t often that Cecil acted so grumpy towards him. For a brief moment, he wondered if he ought to give Cecil some space, but he had a funny feeling that if he let this situation fester then it would only breed further bad feelings. Shaking his head with disbelief, he moved closer to the concealed head so that his voice could be heard clearer and spoke in a tentative voice, “Cecil?”

 

“Go and find Kevin if you love him so much.”

 

Even through the pillow, Carlos could feel the stinging intensity of the words and he froze, momentarily stung at the pure unfairness of them. Cecil was acting incredibly strange, in fact, if he didn’t know him better he might have described him as ‘jealous’…

 

Slowly, understanding blossomed in his mind, and he couldn’t help it; a smile widened on his face. He leaned closer to the pillow and spoke in a wondrous tone that he knew would catch Cecil’s attention.

 

“You’re scared I’m going to like him more than you.”

 

He heard a tiny little squeak and leaned back, satisfied at Cecil’s reaction. The broadcaster edged out slightly from under the pillow, and what little of his face that could be seen was blooming a delicate shade of red, 

 

“N-no! Of course I’m n-“

 

“You _are._ ” Cecil had extricated himself fully and was spluttering some nonsense, but Carlos ignored him, resting his chin in his hand as he spoke with triumph, “You’re scared I’m going to prefer this Kevin guy because he looks like you. You think,” He looked directly into Cecil’s face with a mischevious twinkle in his eyes, “That I am _shallow.”_

 

Carlos could not prevent himself from letting out a mighty guffaw as Cecil scrabbled to sit up, his face set like a thunderstorm as he shouted,

 

“I do _not_ think you are shallow!”

 

“Then why are you worried?” Cecil cast his eyes down, and Carlos took advantage of him momentary lapse in concentration to wrap an arm around him, “You silly little thing, I like you for more than just your looks. I mean, it helps, but _Cecil._ ” 

 

Face buried in his arms, the squirming radio host attempted to wriggle away, his face displaying nothing but embarrassment at being worked out so completely, 

 

“I’m so…so stupid.”

 

“No, you’re not. You’re worried, and I understand.” Drawing the still despondent body of Cecil closer to him, Carlos nuzzled his head with a soft brush of his lips, “But please, don’t think about it any more tonight. I’m here now, I’ll be here in the morning and that isn’t going to change any time soon, mi carino.” he felt Cecil sag in his arms as he always did when he said the endearment and drew him closer, satisfied that he was finally  beginning to relax. He allowed Carlos to take the glasses off his face and place them on the bedside table, watching with squinting eyes as the scientist flicked the switch for the softly pulsing lamp. 

 

When he had settled back onto the soft covers, Cecil wrapped his limbs around the pleasantly surprised scientist, who smiled even though no one but the moon shining faintly through the window would see it. And when Cecil finally succumbed to sleep, he dreamt not of sinister coiling shapes and gaping, smiling jaws, but of comfortable rooms filled to the brim with beakers bubbling merrily away, whirring electrical equipment that he ached to explore and that sharp but not unpleasant chemical smell so redolent of Carlos that it made him smile even through his sleep. 

 

 

***

 

 

Despite Carlos’s sweet assurances, the next few days were…frustrating, to say the least. Cecil had to bite his retorts more times than he could count as Kevin waxed on and on about seemingly mundane facts of Night Vale that he for some reason saw as magical. Cecil might not have minded, but interspersed with the compliments, he could detect what he perceived to be a slight snideness from Kevin. For, whenever he mentioned something he found beautiful about Night Vale, he almost _always_ followed it with a comment about how Desert Bluffs was in some way superior. He usually did this so subtly that Cecil knew he could not argue, but he had to grit his teeth as Kevin praised the “Gorgeous, sparkling sands, though not quite as yellow as they ought to be,” and the “Majestic city hall, although not as tall or spire-ridden as the one back home.”

 

Slowly, ever so slowly, Cecil could feel his hard-won patience cracking. On the other hand, Kevin was nothing but cordial towards him, but even this lack of hostility frustrated Cecil; there was nothing _to_ him. Nothing but a blasé politeness, a sort of sickly simpering to those in control which only served to make his skin crawl. One hazy afternoon, after being tortured by a lengthy segment on how the cacti of Desert Bluffs were _so superior_ to the nonetheless lovely but bloodless cacti lining Night Vale’s streets, Cecil snapped and said without thinking, 

 

“Oh, yeah? Well, if you love Desert Bluffs so much why don’t you go back?” Full throttle, he had  completely forgotten that they were on air, “Ah, I forgot. Looks like they didn’t want you there anymore.”

 

There was such an utter, pervading silence after these words that Cecil wondered if he had finally broken the man who had been so determinedly cheerful for so many days. He could practically feel the wince from listeners around the city as he spat his vitriolic words, and his heart beat a fierce tattoo in his test as he realised with horror just what he had said, the sound filling his ears with a constant thud. Filled with an unspeakable dread, he brought his eyes to Kevin’s face.

 

To his complete amazement, Kevin was smiling,

 

“My dear, _dear_ Cecil.” But, no, it was not a smile. It was a brittle thing; the skin stretched over his teeth, the eyes crinkled amiably enough, but in that moment Cecil felt more frightened of the man than he had done thus far as that inhumanly calm gaze brushed upon him. “How can I say why my superiors decided to relocate me to your _lovely_ burgh?” He gave a sad little shrug, and for the benefit of the listeners his voice adopted a more melancholy tone, “We cannot question; only follow and be glad of their kindness. I am….sad,” And here, something in his voice alerted Cecil, and he felt the strangest urge to edge far, far away. Heedless of this, Kevin continued,“ That…that you seem to feel like we can’t be friends.”

 

There was an awkward, poignant pause. Cecil swiftly adjusted his microphone, stumbling over the words,

 

‘I-I,” Kevin looked over cooly, a smile no longer visible on his face, “I…apologise, Kevin. I spoke out of place. The, er, the intense heat of today must be getting to me, heh.” He gave a nervous laugh, though it came out more strangled than anything else.

 

“Imagine that.” It was the quietest that Kevin had ever spoken, and the pure unexpectedness of his calm reaction made Cecil sit bolt upright, as if preparing for an attack. The obsidian eyed host stared at him for a few seconds, and he sat uncomfortably in the piercing gaze, his body coiled, ready. Never once tearing his gaze away, Kevin spoke into the microphone,

 

“I’m sorry about that interruption, listeners. You know how it is! a hot day can lead to even hotter temperatures, which is why we all need to start early, early, early! Now, I’ll get back to what I was saying before. In Traffic…”

 

Cecil did not say more than a few scattered words throughout the rest of the broadcast, somehow knowing that he was in shame. For each time he tried to speak, a certain look in Kevin’s eyes quelled him, and he snapped his mouth shut, feting that his calmness might be moved to something more dangerous, more unpredictable. It worried him, because he could not quite fathom what this look meant. Despite his otherwise cheery appearance, Cecil could detect a well hidden but undeniable undercurrent of anger from the other man, and he wondered just what his little outburst could mean for him or, he shuddered, Carlos. 

 

 

As the tinkling of the farewell tune of the show faded into nothingness, Cecil quickly bent down and shoved his various possessions into his satchel, hoping for a swift escape before he was undoubtedly apprehended and punished by the new station management for his insubordination. When he straightened up, he found that Kevin had been watching him, his face blank, making no attempt to move. He held open the door of the booth and Cecil muttered a quick thanks, hurrying through the doorway as swiftly as he could manage. As he passed the figure holding open the door, his heart sank as he heard a quiet,

 

“Cecil?”

 

The host paused as that one word, so simple but yet so poignant, quelled his footsteps. Briefly, he closed his eyes and then turned to the other man, arranging his face as politely as he could.

 

“Yes?”

 

Again, the polite, yet sinister smile.

 

“Good show, today.” He seemed pleased at Cecil’s eyes widening in shock at the unexpectedness of his remark, “I can’t _wait_ for tomorrow.” 

 

 

And he let go of the door, forcing Cecil to dart into the corridor and leaving him with his swirling mind which could only focus on the notion that the had made a colossal, idiotic mistake.

 

 

***


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so paranoid that this is awful, because I just NEEDED to finish it. Ah well, please enjoy!

 

 

When the morning arrived, Cecil made his way to the radio station with footsteps laden with nervousness, Kevin’s ominous words ringing in his ears. The sun shone merrily down upon him, the few spiked plants that adorned the city streets reached up eagerly to receive the sunlight, but he could not bring himself to enjoy these beautiful pleasures. Even Carlos, busy as he was with a clipboard and pieces of hastily written paper, noticed that there was something off about his behaviour that morning.

 

But Cecil waved his concern away, loathe to worry the already busy scientist with his own woes. Carlos did not look the least bit satisfied with his assertions that he was fine, completely fine, but he allowed Cecil to move past him, leaning upwards to place a gentle kiss on his lips before he left.

 

“See you soon, Cecil.”

 

It was an odd thing to say, reflected Cecil as he walked through the sand blasted streets of Night Vale, squinting against the bright sunlight which assaulted his vision. He wouldn’t be seeing Carlos until at least that evening, but he brightened at the thought that perhaps his boyfriend was going to meet him at the station when he had finished recording the day’s broadcast. He hoped so, anyway- it was always wonderful when he found Carlos waiting in the foyer of the station, beautifully messy in the day’s lab coat, all _his_ for the whole world to see. His dark mood brightened somewhat at the thought, and he felt almost like he could bear the impending horrors of today now he knew Carlos was there to hold him at the end of it.

 

Soon enough, he was tramping down the familiar path of the station’s corridors, waving a jaunty wave at those people who he saw every day and with whom he always exchanged a cheerful look or word. When he was outside of the booth, he tried as he had been doing every day for the past week to crush the feeling of irritation that, once again, Kevin was earlier than him. No matter how early he had tried to be in the beginning, Kevin was always there before him without fail, his desk in a state of perfect tidiness, the papers containing information for the day’s broadcast in impeccable order. Cecil had given up trying to beat him, but he each time he arrived so obviously later than the other man it filled him to the brim with annoyance. 

 

Kevin inclined his head as Cecil made his way towards his well-worn chair, saying nothing and focusing diligently on the dimmed ‘on air’ sign in front of him. Cecil was by no means late, but the show was always quick to begin as soon as the two were settled in the booth. He hardly had time to adjust his headset and grasp his notes before the sign flickered a few times and then shone its vibrant red, lighting the soundboard with a soft, scarlet glow. Cecil itched to say the first words, to go back to his usual phrases of wisdom he dispensed at the beginning of his coveted show, but he had to wait, teeth gritted, as Kevin let out a trilling,

 

“Good morning, Night Vale! Kevin and Cecil are proud to bring you the day’s news all thanks to our kind benefactor, Strexcorp. Begin the morning with thanks to the smiling god we all know, fear, and mostly, fear.”

 

It had been the same message every day, and he had grown bored of it. Kevin followed up the familiar message with some preliminary news, bowing out after a little while to allow Cecil to talk briefly about traffic. When Cecil had finished his woefully small segment, Kevin cleared his throat in an important sort of way, casting a swift side-glance at Cecil before continuing,

 

“Well, listeners- don’t we just have a super surprise for you today!” Cecil froze, the ominous words filling him with an immediate unease, “Our glorious mother company, Strexcorp, informed me that they would be interested in a new segment for the show. They want,” he paused dramatically, “An _interview_ segment.” 

 

This new development shocked Cecil to the core, but underlaying his surprise was an overpowering feeling of unjustness. Why hadn’t they told him about this change to his show? Sure, they had been neglecting to tell him of many new developments recently, but it hurt so much that Kevin seemed to know more about this than he did. The smile on his face was positively sharklike as he leaned closer to the microphone, his voice injected with nothing more than absolute glee as he read the anger that shone so clearly on the other man’s face,

 

“And our first ever guest that I myself shall be interviewing…may I introduce our _favourite_ town celebrity, Carlos the Scientist?” 

 

Cecil sat bolt upright at these words, whipping his neck so quickly to watch as the door of the booth opened that he feared he might have cricked his neck. In plodded Carlos, flanked by two suited Strexcorp employees, peering nervously at the microphone that was being rapidly placed in front of him, at the chair that was proffered for him. He gazed quizzically at Cecil’s absolutely gobsmacked expression, almost as if he was confused by how he was reacting to his arrival. When he stopped looking at Cecil and turned instead to Kevin, his own mouth fell open with shock as he gasped, ignoring the hands which placed a headset roughly on his head, mussing his dark, shining hair. At the gasp, Kevin let out a high, tinkling laugh,

 

“ It seems, my dear listeners, that my appearance has rendered our guest temporarily speechless.” Carlos blinked a few times as the unfamiliar voice emerged from such a familiar face, “Does something about my appearance interest you, Mr. Scientist?” he purred.

 

 

The shift in Kevin’s voice startled Cecil. He had heard the man speaking cheerily, he had heard him speaking neutrally, but his voice was almost…well, it was almost flirtatious, the way he rolled Carlos’s name around in his mouth like it was the most delicious sound he had ever heard. He tried to shake himself; Kevin wouldn’t dare to be so unprofessional, not on air. Even so, he held onto his armrests tightly as he watched Carlos’s rapidly reddening face,

 

“N-no! I, uh, I was just momentarily surprised at how much you look like Cecil!” Eyes darting between the two almost identical men, he looked slightly overwhelmed; though he loved him, one Cecil was quite a lot to handle and the prospect of two was beginning to feel like a lot of potential work. It made him nervous, and when he grew nervous, he tended to babble, “But a scientist is often surprised, that’s possibly the fourth of fifth thing a scientist is, I mean, I forget the exact order-“

 

Another tinkling laugh cut through his words, setting Cecil’s teeth on edge. Ignoring his coworker’s disgusted expression, Kevin leant closer to Carlos, and there was no denying it- he was eyeing the interview with a deep interest.

 

“ Oh, you _are_ funny, Mr Scientist!”

 

Carlos blinked at the formal term, “You, uh, can call me Carlos if you want.” He looked bewildered at Cecil’s rapidly narrowing eyes.

 

“Okey dokey! I shall, _Carlos.”_ Kevin drew out the name as if tasting it, presenting the furious Cecil with an innocent expression which he could only presume was supposed to goad him further. “Anyway, to the interview. Now, I have been told to at first come up with my own questions-“

 

“I think I might have a few of my own, actually.”

 

Cecil’s tone was icy as he stared down at Carlos, his arms folded in a rather rigid position. The scientist still looked perplexed at his anger, and mouthed a silent, _I thought you knew;_ at this, Cecil relaxed a little. So, Carlos had nothing to do with this, in fact, if the suited officials that were hovering outside had anything to do with this, it looked like he’d sen forced to come to the station. His anger towards Kevin increased tenfold, especially as he smiled at Cecil’s words.

 

‘Ah, we shall see if we have any time for your questions later, Cecil. Strexcorp has asked _me_ to be the interviewer especially- how lucky I am!” Clearing his throat, Kevin drew up closer to Carlos, so close in fact that in the enclosed space of the booth their knees bumped together. Carlos flinched at the sudden, unwelcome contact, and Cecil’s face reddened in anger that the impostor had dared, _dared_ touch Carlos, but before he could say anything Kevin continued sweetly, as if nothing had happened, “So, Carlos. You are our resident scientist, am I correct?”

 

“Y-yes. For a whole year now, if you believe in concepts such as years. Which, uh, I do, being a scientist.” 

 

“Wonderful.” Briefly, his eyes gave the tiniest of flickers towards Cecil before he continued, “I was wondering, I bet it’s a _long_ and _hard_ process, being a scientist, would you agree?”

 

“I-“ Carlos looked confused by the question, and behind him Cecil could only stare open mouthed at the flippant tone of his voice, “I suppose so. Well, I _know_ so. It wasn’t easy passing my exams.” 

 

“Do you think it’s _hard_ right now?”

 

At this, Cecil actually let out a low growl, which was of course heard by everyone listening to the radio, shocked in their houses. Many people were trying hard not to laugh, and many shook their heads, feeling sorry for Cecil. Outside of the booth, the interns overseeing the broadcast looked at each other with worried glances as they saw through the glass Cecil’s thunderous expression.

 

“What is Kevin doing?” One asked, alarmed.

 

One intern, running the exterior soundboard, could barely contain their mirth.

 

“Oh my god, he’s _flirting_ with Carlos.” He pointed to the left of the booth, “Look, see Cecil’s face? He’s absolutely _furious.”_

 

 _“_ Oh _no._ ” The girl was hovering by the glass now, spotting the radio hosts hands which were rapidly curling into fists, “Cecil’s going to do something stupid, isn’t he?”

 

“I hope so.” The boy said with unabashed glee, turning back to view the catastrophe inside the booth.

 

For all of his cleverness, Carlos had not detected the flirtation, which would have comforted Cecil except for the fact that he was fairly certain that Kevin would continue until Carlos finally understood his intent; to Kevin, this must have seemed like the most wonderful game. And he was so _powerless_ ; he knew if he said anything against Kevin, if acted in any way against the other host with his smug face, then something awful would undoubtedly happen to Carlos. He could only watch, useless, as Carlos spluttered,

 

“It’s always hard, I suppose.” As Cecil groaned anew, many of the interns could not suppress their giggles. Kevin wore the most self-satisfied grin, and Cecil ached to punch him, to shatter that irritating smile into a thousand broken pieces, but he controlled himself. However, slowly, so slowly, he could feel his patience slipping away despite his best efforts.

 

“Ahh, well. I’m sorry to hear about that. I am always here if you need a, ah, helping hand.”

 

 

“Oh!” Now this was something Carlos could grasp onto, “You’re experienced in science? I though no one in Night V-“

 

“Oh, I am _very_ interested in science.” He leaned closer to Carlos, “ Especially recently. In fact, I am _so_ interested, I was wondering if there was any chance you could teach me some tricks,” He had the nerve to actually lick his lips, and staring directly at Cecil, purred, “One on one.”

 

Something that was almost understanding flickered in Carlos’s eyes, but this brief spark of understanding was lost as he continued to look as bewildered as ever. Kevin drew back ever so slightly and turned to Cecil, still having the unbelievable audacity to smile at him. Cecil combatted it with the filthiest look he could muster as Carlos frowned between them, clearly working Kevin’s words in his head. Oh, you are going _down,_ bitch, was all Cecil could think, baring his teeth at the other host as Carlos mumbled,

 

“Uh. Maybe. I wouldn’t usually think to. It’s very dangerous.” 

 

“I don’t know, I think the danger would make it more thrilling. Perhaps even pleasurable.” He leaned somehow closer, resting his chin on his hands as he winked at the man in front of him, “Would you say it was a pleasureable experience, Mr Carlos?”

 

 

“I-“ Carlos was definitely flushed now, catching some of his meaning at last, “We are still talking about science, right?”

 

“Of course we are, silly!” He gave a fake sounding laugh, “Just because it’s work doesn’t mean we can’t derive pleasure from it. No need to look embarrassed- we are all adults here.” 

 

But Carlos did not answer, finally having a slight inkling as to why Cecil was looking like he was carved out of ice, his face set like a thundercloud. Kevin saw where Carlos’s gaze was directed, and he said gingerly, as if he had only just noticed the other host’s presence,

 

‘Why, Cecil, you have gone unusually quiet.”

 

Cecil’s lips were clamped so tightly from the effort from not shouting himself hoarse at Kevin that he almost feared they were stuck. Despite his effort of self control, he couldn’t help but spit,

 

“It’s very warm in here. It’s giving me a headache.”

 

‘Why, yes, you are right. It has gotten rather heated, hasn’t it?” 

 

Although his tone was genial, Cecil could detect a slight malice underlaying it, recognising a spark of mischief in those dark, glittering eyes. Softly, as if he was anticipating an attack, Kevin said,

 

“Why don’t you take your lab coat off, Carlos? You must be _roasting.”_

 

Flicking his eyes towards Cecil, Carlos stuttered,

 

 _“_ Er-“

 

“I think he should keep it on.” 

 

Everyone turned around at the unexpectedly calm voice, at the man who’s hands were shaking as they grasped his knees.

 

“Excuse me?” asked Kevin, politely.

 

“I said, I think he should keep it on.”

 

Carlos watched the two men staring each other down, still a little overcome with how surreal it was to see such similar people, especially as Cecil was the most familiar face in Night Vale for him now. very quietly, he placed a hand on Cecil’s leg, whispering softly,

 

“Cecil, Honey,” Kevin narrowed his eyes at the endearment, “It’s fine.” 

 

Despite the fact that Carlos began to shuck off the spotless, white coat, Cecil finally got to return Kevin’s triumphant look. The black eyed host could not prevent a flicker of anger from passing his face, but it was quickly replaced by that blasé grin.

 

“Isn’t that better! Oh!” he gasped as Carlos’s bare forearms were uncovered from their prison in the white sleeves, the delicate, dark skin rippling in the light. 

 

Just visible at the top of his arms were fine, jagged scars, remnant of his attack from the people of the miniature city, as well as many scars accumulated from many years of reckless science experiments. Carlos had always been self conscious of them, and the only time he almost could bring himself to like them was when Cecil would kiss each one with a mixture of reverence and regret, as if he could heal the scars with his soft lips. They did serve to make him look a little roguish, and Kevin eyed them appreciatively, “My, my, you _are_ full of surprises, Mr Carlos.” 

 

Catching where Kevin’s gaze was headed, Carlos bit his lip with an embarrassed movement and absentmindedly rubbed the scars, as he often did whenever they were brought up.

 

“Oh, yes, these.”

 

Seeing his discomfort, Cecil ached to touch him, to reassure him that he looked simply beautiful, but instead he settled on glowering at the obsidian-eyed man, hating him more and more by the second. Cecil was certain that if he had acted on his show like Kevin had been doing, then management would have intervened a long time ago. It infuriated him that they seemed to be allowing Kevin to get away with this, to openly flirt on air and goad him. He was certain that they were trying to get him to make a show of himself, and despite knowing why this was a terrible idea Cecil was sorely tempted to go along with it. Kevin, side-glancing him again, said with a soft purr,

 

“May I?”

 

Wide eyed, Carlos stared out of the booth, his helplessness reflected back to him in the glass. Behind the door stood one of the suited employees of Strexcorp, and they returned his pleading with a look of pure, utter coldness. Knowing he had no real choice, he remained still as Kevin stretched out a hand towards him.

 

As the hand made contact with the deep scars on Carlos’s arm, behind him the scientist could _hear_ the increase of Cecil’s breathing, could feel the vibrations as he fought to keep his shaking limbs from lashing out. He gave Cecil a small, reassuring look, trying his utmost to convey, _it’s fine, it really is_ , even though the unfamiliar touch caressing his scars made his skin crawl. But, despite his feeble efforts, Cecil looked ready to _murder._

 

“I think,” He hissed into his long-abandoned microphone, “That we will go to a short break, listeners. Here is a pre-recorded message from our sponsors.”

 

Vaguely, Carlos wondered if they were ever going to return from this short break. As soon as the pre-recorded advertisement sounded in the studio, he felt Kevin’s questing hands leave his skin, and heard a swift movement behind him, as if Cecil was preparing to leap across the studio. Fearing for Cecil’s safety far more than his own, he swivelled behind him and placed his hand on Cecil’s leg, pressing down firmly and whispering even more forcefully,

 

“Cecil, honey, _no_.”

 

Cecil stared down at the firm touch, his jaw working. After a few moments, he settled himself back on the chair, his posture rigid and face absolutely thunderous, but Carlos was confident that he was not about to do anything stupid, at least not for the moment. Standing a few steps away from Carlos, Kevin watched all with immense interest.

 

“Well, it seems it’s time for a short coffee break, gentlemen.” He began moving towards the door, throwing a winning glance over his shoulder towards Cecil, “You especially look like you need a coffee, Cecil. Have one on me!’ 

 

And with that, the door clanged shut. As the sound of its closing faded into silence, Carlos allowed Cecil a few moments to regain his composure, as his anger was still tangible, leaking into the atmosphere of the room like a miasmic cloud. Full of a slight trepidation, he turned around on his chair, seeing with a jolt how difficult Cecil was finding it to keep his emotions in check.

 

“Carlos.” He choked out in a strangled voice, “What the _hell_ is going on? Why did you agree to this?”

 

“I-I thought they had told you. I thought you _knew.”_ He couldn’t help a slightly hysterical note from entering his voice. “They told me…they told me you knew about it. You honestly knew nothing?”

 

“Not until you entered the booth.”

 

They stared at each other helplessly, both lost in their respective ruminations. 

 

“I don’t understand what they want. Kevin’s questions don’t make any _sense.”_

 

“His questions? His _questions,_ Carlos?” 

 

“I don’t un-“

 

‘He’s _flirting_ with you.”

 

At this, Carlos face flushed further to a deep crimson. His face full of disbelief, he croaked,

 

“Surely not-“

 

“The innuendos, the little smiles, the touching,” Cecil spat, eyes wild, “It’s driving me _crazy.”_

 

At this Carlos sighed. He adored Cecil’s protectiveness; the thought of someone caring so much about him was wonderful. But it was also frightening how little regard Cecil seemed to have for his own safety. Carlos did not want him to endanger himself for something as trivial as this, especially under a threat such as Strexcorp. 

 

 

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realise. If he tries anything like that again, I’ll stop him, okay?”

 

Cecil nodded, but his demeanour still  remained angry, his expression dangerous, no matter how hard Carlos attempted to soothe him. 

 

“If he touches you again,” his face was full of a dark threat that Carlos had never seen before, “ I will _break his arm,_ so help me.” 

 

Alarmed, Carlos grabbed his hands and forced Cecil too look at him, to fully see the fear in his eyes,

 

“Cecil, don’t be ridiculous. I can handle it; I’m a grown man!” At the disbelieving look he received, he continued in a softer, more imploring tone, “And anyway, what happened to my sweet, little Cecil that doesn’t condone violence, eh?”

 

“”He disappears when someone I love is threatened.”

 

Carlos couldn’t help it; despite his exasperation at Cecil’s threatening stance, he smiled.

 

“That’s really sweet of you, Cecil, but,” He squeezed on the hands with their long, dextrous fingers, “I need you to calm down. Please, for me?”

 

For the next few moments, Cecil worked hard to steady his breathing, feeling the gentle and encourage gaze of the scientist upon him. Although every instinct urged him to punch Kevin, to throttle him for dare laying an unworthy hand on glorious Carlos, he could do this. If Carlos was scared, and he could clearly see from the panicked expression on his face that he was, then he could do this. 

 

“I will…I will try my best, dear Carlos.”

 

“Thank you. Here,” With a quick movement, he leaned upwards and pressed a kiss to the tip of Cecil’s nose, earning a few blinks, and then a rapidly widening smile. Before he drew back, Carlos leant further and whispered softly in his ear, “I think you’re sexier, anyway.”

 

Flushed with pleasure at the compliment, Cecil felt his spirits lift somewhat. He wasn’t sure what exactly he had been afraid of- of course Carlos wasn’t going to suddenly abandon him for a newer, shinier model. It wasn’t long until Kevin returned from wherever he had been, an unusually sour expression clear on his face as he spotted the two holding hands. Briefly, Cecil wondered what could have possibly managed to alter Kevin’s expression, usually so cheerful, until he realised that the other host had the unmistakeable air of somebody who had just had a light telling off. Cecil wondered if Management were indeed happy with the way the interview was going and, feeling brave, Cecil called,

 

“Got told off by Management? Are they unhappy with the way the ‘interview’ is going?”

 

But Kevin just scowled at him, baring those sharp, inhuman teeth in a flash of annoyance as Carlos squeezed his hand for support. Just as quickly, the black-eyed host managed to smooth his expression into some semblance of neutrality, but his movements were sharper, more deliberate, and there seemed to be a slight twitch in his eye which had not been present before. Nevertheless, when he spoke into the microphone again, his voice was steady, betraying nothing out of the ordinary.

 

“ Welcome back, listeners! I am so terribly sorry for the unexpected break but I am sure that you all managed to fill it with productive tasks and such!” He let out what was evidently supposed to be an easy giggle, but it was rather strangled, “Now, back to the interview.” 

 

With an impatient hand, he beckoned Carlos back towards his microphone. The scientist gave a slight glance towards Cecil, as if requesting permission, and the host gave a soft nod, staring at Kevin through narrowed eyes, daring him to continue as he had been doing before the break. Kevin stared back with just as much strength, and they only broke apart when Carlos gave a very obvious clearing of his throat. Kevin jerked with surprise, then regained his composure.

 

“Ok then! So, Carlos, I have a few more, ah, personal questions to-“

 

“ Idon’t think that’s appropriate.” Cecil’s voice was firm, unwavering.

 

“Ah, my dear, _dear,_ Cecil.” That smile could strip paint, “I cannot argue with the new questions I have been given. Nor do I think it would be wise to. Do you?” He asked innocently, but Cecil heard the threat clearly enough. With a harrumph, he lowered himself back onto his chair. “Now,” Kevin continued, eyes regaining a little of their previous sparkle, “Carlos, I have been told that you have been in Night Vale for over a year now, is that correct?”

 

“Yes, almost two years now, in fact.”

 

“Oh! Such a brief amount of time; it _does_ feel like you have been here a lot longer.”

 

“I-yes, I suppose it does.”

 

“And what an impact you have made in this small, close knit community. Protecting the citizens on numerous occasions, becoming a local celebrity…even becoming close with old Cecil here, one of our most prominent citizens.” He gave a tinkling laugh, “My, you _have_ been successful.”

 

Skin prickling at Kevin’s tone, at the odd  suggestion in his voice, Carlos frowned.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Ah,” he spoke delicately, “Only, that, well, things have been moving rather fast for you, haven’t they? Didn’t your contract to perform your scientific duties here expire a few months ago?”

 

Carlos’s mouth fell open at the sheer horror that Kevin, this stranger of all people, knew this piece of information that he had not yet revealed to anybody, not even Cecil. Indeed, he saw the radio host freeze out of the corner of his eye, his face stuck in a grim parody of surprise as he was hit wight the full force of this new information. Ignoring Kevin completely, Cecil turned to him, looking incredibly hurt,

 

“What?”

 

The confusion in his eyes was undeniable, and Carlos cringed inwardly at having to talk about this in such a public and humiliating way. He explained slowly, picking each word with deliberate care, 

 

“Yes, my contract was only valid for a year. But, I, renewed it.” He looked directly at Cecil, speaking softly for him, “Indefinitely.” 

 

“So, and pardon me for prying, you were originally planning to leave Night Vale after that year was up?”

 

“I was. But-“

 

“But, then, on the eve of your contract expiring, you were involved in a near death accident, am I correct?”

 

“You are, but-“

 

“I wonder,” Turning to Cecil, Kevin tapped the tide of his face with a finger in clear contemplation, “What prompted you to stay? That accident sounds horrific, and you were only saved by a racist embarrassment to this town who-”

 

“I stayed,” Said Carlos loudly, cutting through Kevin’s harsh words, “Because no matter how horrifying, or confusing or damn _unscientific_ this town is, I have always had people to come back to.” He took Cecil’s hand again, “ _Someone_ to come back to. And I have never had that before, not before Night Vale.”

 

And Cecil squeezed back, allowing the words to fill him to the brim, to imbue him with all the love that Carlos meant but could not express. He stared down the scowling Kevin with defiance, knowing that whatever the other host had on him, he did not, and would never, have Carlos. But Kevin’s face was impassive, contemplating,

 

“I wonder…” He tapped his face with a free hand, “Where were _you_ Cecil, when this attack happened?”

 

Cecil narrowed his eyes, furious at what Kevin was clearly trying to imply.

 

“I was here, of course.” Carlos squeezed his leg in an attempt to calm him, but Cecil could not prevent himself from raising his voice, “I was reporting, I had no _choice-“_

 

“My dear Cecil, I am not trying to imply anything,” He help up his hands in a gesture of defence, “I just find it…interesting….that you were not the one to go to his rescue. And yet…” 

 

The unspoken _and here you are together_ seemed to echo through the room, not articulated, but still understood by each person. Feeling himself fill with anger at the implication in his voice, Carlos butted Cecil out of the way, as the host’s hand reached for the microphone, probably on his way to saying something stupid that would doom them both, and stated firmly,

 

“I’m sorry, but I don’t really feel comfortable with discussing mine and Cecil’s relationship. That’s for us, not anyone else.”

 

“I understand, Mr Carlos, but it is not my decision what I ask, after all. The next question, then.”

 

“Fire away.” He did not even try to prevent the sarcasm from entering his voice, but Kevin chose to ignore it.

 

“Now that your contract is pronounced as ‘indefinite’, have you considered a post within the Scientific Department of Strexcorp?” At Carlos and Cecil’s jolt gasp, he smiled wolfishly, “You expertise, outside knowledge and, ah, position, would serve you well. You could become an even more successful member of society, Carlos.”

 

 

 

And, with a sudden, unbidden clarity that burst through his mind, Carlos understood what this whole charade had been leading to. If he had been asked to join the ranks of Strexcorp outside of the booth, he could have refused, he could have made an excuse and ran far, far way. But now, he was cornered with the whole of Night Vale listening in, and with absolutely no opportunity to escape. Kevin might have worded his question with the illusion of choice, but Carlos was not naive enough to think he could escape the vast corporation from within their very walls. He gulped, his throat tightened with nervousness, as Cecil looked like the world had fallen away from him.

 

“I have not considered it as of yet.” He spoke delicately, attempting to conceal his true feelings, which were filling him with nothing but a deep, pervading panic, “ But it is a very generous offer. For the moment, I enjoy our independent work that we do here in Night Vale.”

 

“Of course.” The blasé smile was back, “ Well, I have to say our generous benefactor Strexcorp is _very_ interested in the scientific faction of Night Vale.” He licked his lip, the tip of his scarlet tongue tracing his blood red lips, “We are all _very_ interested.”

 

To Carlos’s utter surprise, Kevin turned and fully acknowledged Cecil for the first time in their interview space, “Cecil,” He almost sounded warm, friendly, “Wouldn’t you _love_ to see Carlos embraced even closer to the bosom of our station?”

 

The host stared at him, jaw working soundlessly as he considered his answer. Carlos implored him with pleading eyes, _please don’t antagonise him, oh god, please-_

 

“I think he is perfectly fine where he is now.”

 

“Perhaps, but wouldn’t it be more, ah, _satisfying_ if he was closer?” he leaned further on his chair, a malicious twinkle in his eyes that betrayed the sweetness of his voice, “I mean, it would make him easier to save, if you understand my meaning.”

 

There was an icy silence that followed this, and the fact that they were still on air seemed completely forgotten. The ‘on air’ sign continued it’s steady flashing, but the radio show broadcasted nothing but silence, or perhaps the sound of Cecil’s furious breathing. Carlos’s eyes darted desperately between the two, fearing that Kevin’s cruelty had goaded Cecil past his breaking point. Indeed, when Cecil broke the silence, it was the coldest Carlos had ever heard him speak.

 

“Are you trying to suggest that I am an inadequate boyfriend, Kevin?”

 

“Oh, I wouldn’t go so far as inadequate. Somewhat neglectful, perhaps.”

 

There was a screech of metal as Cecil scraped his chair across the floor in his haste to stand up. Carlos followed suit, ready to grab Cecil in case he moved towards the other man, but Kevin remained lazily on his seat, one leg resting upon the other as he turned his calm face towards the looming man.

 

“Oh?” Cecil spat, “ And do you think you could do a better job?”

 

Kevin smiled his sharks’ smile and gestured around at the booth with a grand sweep of his hand.

 

“My dear Cecil, I already am.”

 

Slowly, ever so slowly, a red patch of anger spread across Cecil’s face as he fought to keep himself under control. The implication in his voice, the assertion that he, Kevin, was better than him; it goaded him like nothing else. And, knowingly or not, and he suspected the former, Kevin had played on his deepest, darkest fear; that he was not adequate enough for Carlos. His shame at this secret being brought to the fore made his limbs shake and hands curl into fists.

 

“How dare you. How _dare_ you-“

 

“ You have often stated that Carlos is perfect, and shouldn’t perfection seek perfection?”

 

“I-“

 

“And I have heard you refer to me as ‘your double’, Cecil, as your imperfect self, and I wonder…” His voice was barely a whisper now, “Could it be the other way around?”

 

 

“”No.” To the shock of all, it was Carlos who spoke, his voice firm. “I don’t believe it. ”

 

“Really, Carlos?” He slinked over with a sinuous stride, “Do you really believe that?”

 

Sitting stock still, Carlos turned his face up with a defiance that made Cecil’s heart clench,

 

“I do. 

But, of course, Kevin only laughed. Folding his arms and leaning lazily on the sound board, he was so close to Carlos, almost touching.

 

“You see,” He said delicately, “I don’t think that is quite true, Mr Carlos.”

 

“No?”

 

“I think,” Slowly, slowly, he leans his body down, “That you are curious about mine and Cecil’s similarities, and, of course, curiosity breeds…experimentation.”

 

They were almost nose to nose, Kevin scanning Carlos’s defiant, set face as if considering moving ever closer. Cecil watched the other host lean closer and closer to his boyfriend, and growled,

 

“If you make one more step, I swear to god-“

 

Briefly, as if flicking away an angry fly, Kevin quirked an eyebrow at the other host,

 

“What will you do, Cecil, _report_ on me?”

 

Cecil began moving his way across the station, his hands curling into fists, 

 

“ _You-_ “

 

“Cecil, no-“ Carlos shouted, but Cecil ignored him, he was almost in reach of Kevin-

 

 

 

“I bet,” Kevin’s eyes sparkled with cruel, vindictive pleasure, ‘I bet he wouldn’t even be able to tell the difference.” And Carlos, still trying to think of a way of safely getting Cecil out of Kevin’s way, squeaked with horror as the familiar and yet so unfamiliar lips enclosed his own.

 

And Cecil leapt upon him.

 

He ripped and pounded at every inch of Kevin he could find, ignoring Carlos’s shouts that he should stop, please stop, Cecil, stop! His hands flew in glorious arcs through the air, and he bared his teeth with relish as his fists sunk into the flesh beneath him again and again; he was finally doing what he had been dreaming of doing for weeks. He had forgotten that the radio was broadcasting. He had forgotten that there were suited officials were gathered outside watching the proceedings. He had even forgotten that Carlos, dear, sweet Carlos was watching him; his well worn patience had finally snapped, and in his unleashed anger Cecil was a terror to behold.

 

To make it worse, Kevin merely laughed as he was punched over and over again, which only served to goad Cecil into an even further rage, the maniacal sound combining horribly with the sickening crunch of the punches. There was a further cacophony of noise as various people flooded the booth, interns and suited officials alike, but no matter how many people tried, they could not manage to extract Cecil from his attack the other host. His anger was like a dense fog clouding his mind, demanding that he rip Kevin limb from limb and nothing could pierce through it. That is, until a voice, wavering and panicked somehow managed to reach him.

 

“Cecil…you’re _scaring_ me.”

 

Spoken by any other person, those words would have had no effect on Cecil, and he would have carried on until there was nothing of Kevin left. However, that desperate plea cut through the red mist which had descended upon his mind and he paused in his punching, his fist hovering over the figure gasping beneath him. He shook his head in shock; his fist was covered in blood. Kevin’s face was covered in a shining layer of scarlet which dripped onto his yellow jumper, staining the cheerful pattern with a dark, spreading stain. As if he had been electrified, Cecil finally let go of Kevin, and the bloodied host fell back onto the soundboard with a soft thump, breathing heavily, and with eyes closed.

 

And Cecil stared at him, at his bruises, at his stained clothes, and at his own bloodied and guilty hands as if they belonged to somebody else. The room was deathly silent, save for the ragged breathing below him, and he realised with a jolt that everyone in the from was frightened of him. He could see it in their faces, in the way that they backed away a few steps when he darted his eyes towards them. Even Carlos flinched when he made a movement, taking a shaking step towards the crumpled body of Kevin.

 

“No…I-I-” He stretched out his hands as if considering helping him up, snatching them back when he realised that Kevin would probably not want him to touch him. “Oh _god-“_

 

But, as he dithered beside him, a laugh emerged from the man collapsed onto the soundboard. It was a laugh like Cecil had never heard before- a maniacal wheeze issued from the bloody lips, forced past the sharp, crooked teeth which had also been stained red, a horrible, crazed thing. Hands slipping on the various buttons, Kevin hauled himself up with a little difficulty, his impeccably polished shoes slipping on the floor as he tried to get a purchase. When he was more or less on the same level as Cecil, he stopped laughing for a brief moment.

 

“Oh _dear,”_ He wheezed, “You’ve landed yourself in quite a mess, haven’t you?”

 

Before he could react, Cecil felt strong hands engage his arms in a strong grip as two people grasped onto him, effectively holding him in place and preventing escape. He flickered his eyes between them, recognising the striped yellow uniform of the new station security guards, both hulking, formidable figures who were not likely to loosen their grip any time soon. He thought briefly about struggling, but an alarming amount of his energy had been expended in his beating of Kevin. He stared around at the gather people, noting how wary of him they still looked.

 

“I was provoked. Please,” No one said anything, and the lack of response made him call desperately, “I was provoked! You all heard! Please-“

 

He let out a cry as the hands tightened on his arms, stopping his cries. When he looked up again, he saw that Carlos had regained movement and was as close as he could be to him without touching the two who were holding him so tightly.

 

“Oh, Cecil,” He looked close to tears, “This is all my fault-“

 

“Carlo-“

 

He stopped as Carlos was pushed roughly out of the way to make room for a figure who was walking rapidly through the radio booth. Her hair aflutter, and straightening her skirt creased from the swiftness of her strides, his new Programme Director Lauren stopped in front of him, brushing her gaze over him with a pitying expression.

 

“What a _shame,”_ She spoke each word with deliberate care, enunciating each syllable with force, “That you could not bring yourself to get along with Kevin, Cecil. Such a shame.” 

 

“But he-“

 

“We tried so hards to find someone you would get along with.” She sighed dramatically, “But you have, as you have continually been doing since we came to your station, proven yourself to be difficult.” 

 

“But-“

 

Ignoring his strangled yells, she turned to the figures holding him, saying clearly, “ Take him to the laboratory. We have something that will…calm him.” 

 

“No!” She raised a manicured eyebrow as Carlos moved next to Cecil, his face furious. “No! You can’t-“

 

“Carlos the Scientist,” She hissed, “You are on thin ice as it is. If you make one more step, you will be joining Mr Palmer.”

 

He lifted his chin up, his face full of defiance, “Then take me.”

 

“No!” To his surprise, it was Cecil who shouted, “Do what you want with me, I don’t care, but please, I’m begging you, do not take Carlos!”

 

“Cecil-“

 

Lauren stomped a foot on the floor, stopping their shouting match as she frowned.

 

“ One more word, Cecil, and I will _personally_ ensure that Carlos is sent for re-education. As for _you,”_ She pointed a sharp fingernail at Carlos, “You will be seeing Mr Palmer soon enough.” She looked at the two striped guards, “Take him away. Now.”

 

“No!” Carlos shouted, but it was futile. Cecil stared back helplessly as he was dragged away, refusing to utter a word in case Lauren fulfilled her promise. With a snap, the door banged shut, and Cecil was lost from sight. Heaving a great sigh, Lauren turned to the interns still gather din the room and snapped,

 

‘Well?” They jumped at her sharp tone, “Leave!” As they scrabbled to go through the door, she sighed, “The things you have to do to get everything done.”  She placed her hand on the doorknob, throwing a glance over her shoulder,

 

“Kevin, if you need to-“

 

“No, no,” He coughed, “I’m perfectly fine.”

 

She nodded, and then was gone with a click of the door.

 

 

When the wooden frame clanged shut, Carlos realised for the first time that he was alone with Kevin, and how very small the booth was. Kevin lowered his battered body carefully onto a chair, staring at the frozen figure of Carlos thoughtfully.

 

 

 

“Now,” Wincing slightly as stretching his arm towards the microphone jarred his bruised ribs, Kevin smiled crookedly at Carlos, a wolf staring down a small, frightened rabbit, “Shall we finish the interview?”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Oh my goodness, so many people have asked me to continue this! I'm not sure at the moment- I didn't really have any more ideas as to what would happen next (I wrote the ending stupidly quickly). Perhaps I shall come back to it- you never know!


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